


Daughter Of Cliche

by graestu



Category: Doctor Who
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:27:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23647708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/graestu/pseuds/graestu
Summary: "I knew I'd have to say this one day," thought Bill.
Kudos: 2





	Daughter Of Cliche

The Doctor and Bill were having fun with their jet pack powered, yellow and black space suits.

Bill had quickly learnt how to circle the TARDIS console without hitting the walls, and could easily fly from one staircase to another. She thought she was ready to try it outside. The Doctor agreed.

Thinking about a surprise visit to Saturn's Rings, and revealing their Bizarre Secret while swooping among them, he began to set the coordinates.

An ear piercing feedback squeal that filled the room threw him backwards.

He scrambled to switch it off as the TARDIS jolted into a crash landing.

"The location readout's overloaded," sighed The Doctor. "I've no idea where or when we are. Everything else is normal. That noise, though - we can't go out in that."

"Unless we had some soundproof helmets...?" suggested Bill, looking towards the ones they'd left by the door.

They grabbed one each and fastened them onto their collars.

Peeping out cautiously, a smooth metal floor stretched left and right. In front, a light shone up from below the edge, hinting at a long drop. Behind the TARDIS, the night sky beyond a glass wall.

"Seems safe," crackled The Doctor's voice over the radio. "Go ahead."

Bill walked slowly forwards.

The Doctor adjusted his helmet's external volume control,trying to identify the sound.

"It's a song!" he said. "I know this song! It's _'The Barmaid At The Rose And Crown'_ , by George Formby! 1941! So we're definitely not before then. It's been speeded up slightly, which is odd."

"Umm... Doctor?" called Bill, who was lying, peering over the edge. "We're much later than that. And... well... I thought I'd have to say this one day - what with all our science-fictiony adventures and stuff - so here goes: Doctor, You've Shrunk The TARDIS! We're about the same size as a couple of bees!"

"Well, I haven't," came the unconvincing reply. Because when The Doctor joined Bill, he found they were looking down into a vast room dominated by a telescope. They were high on a supporting girder round the glass domed roof of an observatory.

With a nudge, The Doctor said, "Let's investigate, while there's no one about."

He indicated Bill's jet pack, and she followed him over the edge as he took off for a spin around the room.

Far below, they spotted some pages of notes on the table, and dived down to take a look.

"Undated, unfortunately," said The Doctor. "It's lists of UK local radio news items... DJ chit chat... Songs played... Surely there's more important things to use that equipment for."

He pointed outside, where a row of huge satellite dishes were just visible in the darkness.

"Same here," said Bill. "TV programme text files. None I recognise."

"So it's before your time. Or after," said The Doctor. "It's all clues, I suppose. Let's see what they're looking at."

He swerved away to the telescope eyepiece.

"Oh no," he groaned fearfully, as Bill arrived alongside him.

They swapped positions, and he drifted away, reconsidering the whole scene.

"How is that even possible?" Bill asked shakily, looking several more times to make sure. "We're looking at Earth!"

"Which can only happen not on Earth," said The Doctor, confirming her thoughts, then providing a full explanation.

"You see, Bill, every signal ever broadcast on Earth has been spreading out through the universe, and will do so forever. This song? It could be new in 1941, or playing on a Golden Oldies show anywhen after that. But it's being picked up long after whenever-that-was by aliens monitoring Earth. It's slightly speeded up because we're moving towards it at tremendous speed. We're in an observatory on a space ship. In fact, this is a telescopic sight on a gun. Let's get out of here before someone comes back. I'll check the magnification, you try to remember those notes, and we'll combine eveything in the TARDIS computer to tell us exactly how far from Earth we are, and the speed. But at the moment, we know this: _One_ : We have not shrunk; meaning, _Two_ : These aliens are giants; _Three_ : They're watching, listening, learning everything they can about Earth; and _Four_ : They're on their way.


End file.
